Sting!!

[Queen Smudge]

I was in town during a free today, and my friend Shelley wanted to go to Stationary Box. Anyway, as we were walking there, I felt something land on my head. Thinking I had been shit on by a bird I go to flick whatever it is off my head (Obviously a stupid move where bird shit is concerned).

Good news: It wasn't shit.
Bad news: It was a wasp.

The wasp did't take kindly to being swotted off my head, and stung my finger with a vengeance.

It killed

Worse still, I couldn't get the sting out. It was moving about inside the wound and I was in muchly pain.

Anyway, I get to school and ask their so-called trained medical staff for some vinegar or anti-septic spray. As it happens, they haven't the faintest idea how to treat wasp stings.

By this time, my hand is really swollen. The headmaster is debating whether or not to take me to hospital, because my hand has gone purple, my face has gone white, I'm shaking and I'm about to be sick.

The secretary runs in with my medical forms.

"She allergic to bee stings".

(Got stung by a swarm of them as a baby)

That's a minus, but the plus is that a wasp stung me. Mr Headmaster thinks it's as bad as getting stung by a wasp is as just as serious.

Anyway, a girl I don't know, but who is on the music commitee hears the commotion and peers round the door. She says to the teachers "Are you all thick? I didn't you had been educated here as well"

Then she whips some Savlon out of the First Aid Kit, douses my hand in a kilo of the stuff and says, "That's you sorted", then walked away.

It still stings a little bit, but it really did the trick. My hand is now hand sized.

When I got home I told my mum that "I got stung". She replied with "It was a good job it wasn't by a wasp. You're allergic".

Hmmm.

[max]

perhaps you should have "i am allergic to insect stings, if stung and found in pain please submerge me in a vat of Savlon" tatooed onto strategic places of your body.

[Queen Smudge]

kinky

[yorkpete]

The end of that story made me larf!

Here's a sting of quite a different nature:

[Queen Smudge]

yorkpete said:

The end of that story made me larf!

Here's a sting of quite a different nature:

I thought that my crop up.
Oh, and I'm pleased you found my excrutiating pain funny.

[YumPOP]

Flashdance said:

Oh, and I'm pleased you found my excrutiating pain funny.

Do you have any more funny stories of you in excruciating pain? We could publish them as Smudge in Agony: Volume One and make money out of your pain*!

_{* Not that you'd get any of it, though, I need that limo stocked with coke and hookers.}

[X-Offender]

An ex-boyfriend of mine got stung seventeen times by a wasp when it climbed up his trouser leg. He didn't try to stop it because he thought he was getting little shocks from his cheap polyester kegs. He ended up in severe pain. Now that's a very funny story, especially as said ex-boyfriend is an absolute twunt (loving this new word).

[Pony who Lunches.]

I think it might have been a bee sting cos wasps don't leave half their arse behind pumping venom into you when they sting, but bees do. Then they die. That'll learn them!

I'm so sorry about your pain, dear! I've not been stung since I was about 5 so I've forgotten how it feels, which just makes it the scarier cos I have no idea how much it might hurt now...

[Culturetart1]

One flew up my trouser leg in the queue for the bogs at V97. It stung me 3 times, not pleasant. Gave everyone else in the queue a laugh though as I was dancing about yelling like a fanny.

[southernangel]

Wasps are really evil, when ever i see one fly in my house i get great pleasure in setting out to kill them.

I was once stung on my face by a wasp at scout camp when i was 13, i remember it hurting so bad i was crying.

This is the worst time of the year to get Wasps as they are everywhere! and they all seem to be very angry as summer is nearly over be warned.

[Alyson and the Pussycats]

Here's a picture of Buzz Off from He-Man and the Masters Of The Universe...not all buzzy things are bad! He fought Skeletor!

Alyson

[Nick]

I got stung by a wasp on the back of my neck a few years ago, at work. I didn't even know it was there, and suddenly I got this pain like a massive electric shock at the top of my spine. I thought I'd gone quadriplegic.

But I hadn't. I just stood with a bag of ice balanced on the back of my neck for an hour, and continued to serve people. What a trouper I am.

[jNyasu: Geekspert And Utopian]

This is another Sting.
It's an Elvish knife and very light, ideal for use as a sword by a Hobbit.
And it glows blue when orcs are near!

[Queen Smudge]

PonyShaker said:

I think it might have been a bee sting cos wasps don't leave half their arse behind pumping venom into you when they sting, but bees do. Then they die. That'll learn them!

I'm so sorry about your pain, dear! I've not been stung since I was about 5 so I've forgotten how it feels, which just makes it the scarier cos I have no idea how much it might hurt now...

No, it was definitely a wasp. And they do leave a sting.
And thank you for sorriness over my pain. It's still throbbing now.

[yorkpete]

I didn't at all
I just meant your mum was funny at the end. It's the sort of thing my mum would do, scattily forget something incredibly important about me in a marge simpson style!

Flashdance said:

I thought that my crop up.
Oh, and I'm pleased you found my excrutiating pain funny.